Behavior	Consequence
Playing around during group work	Finish assignment alone
Ripping up class materials	Not allowed to use them
Lost crayons	Can’t color
Talking during instructions	Sit by yourself
Pushing at recess	Can’t play that day
Name calling	Write an apology letter
Disrespecting teacher	Sent to another teacher’s room for awhile

4.  Don’t go crazy trying to treat all the kids exactly the same.

Remember when you were young and your parents told you, “Life’s not fair”?  It’s true!  Strive for equity- treating students in a way that is appropriate and reasonable for their personal situation.  There are several basic responses to discipline that you will see repeatedly in the classroom and equally unique ways to deal with them.   I put in parentheses approximately how many kids of each type I personally have had in my classroom in a typical year.   I would probably expect more kids of the first two types in more affluent areas and more of the last two types in tougher neighborhoods, but that’s just a general stereotype.

Student’s Personality Type	Teacher Response
Tears up when confronted; genuinely sorry or scared   (Hopefully 5-10 out of 25)	-reprimand privately and quietly -enforce a consequence only when the behavior is repeated
Appears sorry but quickly repeats wrong behaviors; seemingly ‘faking it’   (3 out of 25)	-reprimand privately and quietly, warning what will happen if another innappropriate behavior occurs -swiftly and without lecture enforce consequence upon second and all later offenses
Wants to do the right thing but doesn’t have the self-discipline necessary to follow through   (5 out of 25)	-reason with the child: why is it hard to do __?  What can I do to help you make good choices?  What can you do to help yourself? -offer choices such as sitting alone or by someone else if a group of children is a negative influence -be patient with this type of child: s/he is learning how to self-regulate and you will see progress
Subtly defiant (mutters, rolls eye, sucks teeth, write mean notes)   (5 out of 25 act this way on occasion; 2 out of 25 act this way consistently)	-don’t do anything to turn the situation into a power struggle!  You can try ‘calling him out’ once in front of the class to show who is in charge (the child may back down and the behavior may not resurface once s/he realizes you insist on being in charge- this is more likely with younger students) but be prepared for this to backfire -in general, talk to this student privately (go to him/her when possible, rather than calling the child over to you) -briefly restate what the inappropriate behavior was and the consequence -enforce the consequence immediately without arguing or yelling (“You need to sit by yourself”) -if the child protests, repeat yourself calmly and firmly (“You need to sit by yourself.").  Do not provide any additional information for the child to argue with.
Openly defiant (talks back, cusses, becomes violent, refuses to do anything you say)   (Hopefully 0-3 out of 25)	-follow the suggestions for the subtly defiant child -get a behavior management plan in place quickly to help the child self-regulate and provide frequent positive reinforcement: for a simple behavior management form to use daily with students who need extra accountability and reinforcement, try this link: http://home.att.net/~teaching/misc/fiveday.pdf -keep in constant contact with parents, especially when the child does something good -let the principal know what’s going on for documentation purposes and also for advice -bring the child up at a SIT meeting to look into special placement, services, and evaluations - pick your battles: don’t upset the child over something small such as humming in the hallway or not having his shirt tucked in. -inform the guidance counselor -talk to the child’s previous teacher(s), but keep in mind children behave differently for different people and the child is older and changing

5.   Master a repertoire of great one-liners.

Every primary-grade teacher needs a quick response to the repetitive complaints we hear daily.  The goal is to reassure the students, encourage them to take personal responsibility for their actions, and teach them to problem-solve… all while spending as little time as possible addressing the problem.   Here are some of the ones I use that seem to be the most effective in terms of satisfying the child and allowing me to resume teaching:

DISCLAIMER: These lines have worked in MY school, in MY classroom, with MY kids, as part of MY personal teaching style.  They will not be a good fit for all teachers.  Some will sound too harsh, some too lenient, and some just won’t make sense to you.  Choose the ones that you think will be right for YOUR situation.

Student	Teacher
"She said my momma is fat!"	(With a stern look) "If I hear it, she's in big trouble."
“He cut in front of me!”	(Reassuringly) “Well, don’t worry, we won’t leave you just because you have one extra person in front of you.”
“Is it time for lunch/P.E./recess yet?” (asked by a child who you just taught to tell time)	(Looking at the clock pointedly) “I don’t know, is it?”  (Wait for the child to answer- the point is for the child to think for him/herself).
“She said my pencil is ugly!”	(Very seriously) “Thank you for telling me”.  (No follow-up necessary).
“He hit me!”	“What can you say to him about that?”
“She stepped on my toe!”	(With mock seriousness) “Oh, my goodness, we’re going to have to cut it off!  Johnny, can you take Sara to the nurse?  I think we’re going to have to amputate!”  (The child will invariably break into a smile, at which point you can pat her back and ask if she is okay).
“What page are we on?  What are we supposed to do?”	(Silence.  The child will figure out that s/he needs to ask another child).
“I can’t find my paper/book/eraser!”	(With a shrug and a sad smile) “Sorry, sweetie, I don’t know where it is, either.”
(In the middle of a math lesson) “My mom wants to know what time the field trip is on Friday”.	(With ‘teacher look’) “Does this have anything to do with math?  So when should you ask me?  Thank you”.  (The correct answer for me is during morning warm up, recess, or bus call time).
(In the middle of a discussion about Father’s Day)  “My daddy got shot in the head when I was a baby!”; “Well, my daddy hit my mommy and she says he’s a no good dog!”	“I’m sorry to hear that, and I’d like to talk with you about that after school.  But I should tell you that what you said is private family information.  If you want to share that, you could say ‘My daddy is deceased’.  That means he has died.  Okay?”  (Smile reassuringly and be sure to follow up at an appropriate time).
(Innocently) “$^&*#!”	(Calmly)  “Do you know what that word means?  It means something that can really hurt people’s feelings and make them sad.  It’s not a word that is okay for children to use in school”.  (Remember that it might be allowed at home.  No punishment needed).
(Intentionally) “$^&#!”	(With teacher look) “That word is not appropriate for you to use here, and you know that.  I need for you to sit by yourself for awhile so I can be sure no one in this classroom has to listen to you talk that way”.
“He called me a booger picker!”	(Seriously) “Well, are you a booger picker?  Since you know it’s not true, why do you need to worry about it? It doesn’t matter what other people think; it only matter how you feel about yourself.  You know the truth.”
“Why am I in trouble?  He was talking, too!”	(Looking puzzled) “You’re not in trouble because he was talking.  You’re in trouble because you were talking.”
(When another child ‘tattles’ about a fairly serious issue and you confront the child) “I didn’t do anything!!”	(Firmly) “I certainly hope that what I heard you did is not true.  I expect more from you.  I know that I will not hear anyone else tell me that you said such mean words out of your mouth.  Is that understood?”
(When two children are both blaming each other) “I didn’t do anything, she did!	“I didn’t see what happened, so I can’t blame anyone.  What I can do is suggest that the two of you don’t sit near/ play with each other for a couple days.  There are 25 other kids in here for you to work with- you need to choose another friend”.
“But she started it!”	“Then you need to finish it!  How can you handle it next time when someone does that to you?”
“She said she’s not my friend anymore!”	“It’s okay for friends to get mad at each other and want some time apart. Let her cool off and try to talk to her tomorrow.  I promise you that no second grader has ever stayed mad at a friend forever.  Until she’s ready, who else can you choose to work with?”
(For the millionth time) “She said she’s not my friend anymore!”	“Why would you continue to be friends with someone who is constantly telling you what to do and what not to do in order to stay friends?  Do you deserve to be treated like that?  How do you want to be treated?  Who in this classroom do you think would be a good friend to you?  I’m going to be watching you and checking up to see if you’ve made good decisions about who to hang out with”.
(When inappropriate) “I’m done!’  “Look!”	(Nod solemnly.  If repeated, say gently: “Okay, thanks.  You don’t need to show me any more”).

And of course, learn what lines DON’T work in your classroom.

These are things that I have heard or heard of other teachers saying (or have said myself in desperation) that I personally feel are ineffective.

Teacher’s Line	Why I Think It’s Ineffective
“Sit down!”	It’s a direct command, which can cause confrontation if barked like an order.  I have found that a very firm, “Have a seat” works just as well and sounds much less like the teacher has lost control.
“Honey, don’t you want to come over to the rug and have a seat?”	Many African-American children, especially,  regard this line as a choice.  ‘Why, no’, they think.  ‘I wouldn’t like to come over to the rug’.  Who could blame them? J  A clearer but still kind direction is, “Come join us on the rug, Marcus”.  (You can find research about the connections between discipline and race by searching the ‘net).
“I swear, you are the worst class!  I don’t know what to do with you!”	In addition to wreaking havoc on children’s self-esteem, this line shows children that you have lost faith in them- why bother trying any more when the teacher won’t put forth any effort?
Anything sarcastic	Sarcasm is lost on young children.  It certainly feels good to say, but rarely gets your point across.  Many times children think you are agreeing with them when you are sarcastic, because after all, they say what they think.  Why would anyone say the opposite of how they really feel?
“If one more person talks out today, the field trip is cancelled!”	First of all, expecting the entire class to be quiet for a whole day is unrealistic.  Someone will talk and you’ll end up punishing the whole class for what one person did, which is unfair to the innocent and turns the class against the talker.  But the worst part about this line is that you’re bluffing.  The bus is scheduled, volunteers are lined up, bag lunches are ordered- the class is going on the field trip no matter what, and an empty threat like this teaches kids you don’t mean what you say.

Never under-estimate the importance of reinforcing behavioral expectations throughout the year and consistently modeling problem-solving strategies and good character.  Songs are a great way to do this!
Here are some songs (lyrics and tunes with sound clips!) about:
 
Friendship, getting along with others, character, and conflict resolution: http://www.songsforteaching.net/friendshipsongs.htm
Teaching respect for diversity:   http://www.songsforteaching.net/diversitymulticulturalism.htm
Reinforcing positive attitudes:   http://songsforteaching.homestead.com/Attitude.html

More Behavior Tips

Keeping Students on Task, Engaged, and Attentive