7 strategies for communicating with parents about behavior

1.  Make parents your allies in helping the children.

It's easy to blame parents for everything that our students do wrong, but even when you know that a parent is fostering a child's negative behavior, be careful not to come across as accusatory or blaming.  If parents see you as attacking their child, they will naturally side against you, causing more tension in the classroom.  Do everything in your power to create an alliance with the parent for the benefit of the child, approaching the situation with an attitude of "Here's what I notice at school, tell me what you have observed at home, what can we do together to help the child". 

2.  Notify parents of positive behavior, too, especially when kids are having problems.

I have a set of "Good news from school!" postcards that I address to each family at the beginning of the year.  Periodically, when I notice a streak of particularly cooperative behavior or academic gains, I fill out a short message and mail them off (my school provides the postage for me).  I can tell who hasn't gotten a note home yet just by looking at the stack of pre-addressed cards left.  I also try to write specific, personal comments on progress reports and weekly evaluations to let parents know I notice their children as individuals ("Jacob has really enjoyed learning about habitats- his ocean mural was really creative!" or "Shauna showed me the book you bought her about slavery.  She has a knack for history, and I'm glad you were able to help her learn more about a topic that really interested her. Let me know if you need suggestions for more resources- there's a great exhibit coming to the Smithsonian next month"). 

3.  Send home weekly evaluations to keep parents updated and provide written documentation.

Parents hate finding out about problems that have been going on for weeks or months.  If you sense a child has become disinterested in school, has been fighting a lot on the playground, or has been out of his/her seat more than usual, jot it down on a weekly contact form that parents sign and return.  This not only lets parents know what's going on, but also keeps children accountable for their behavior and provides written proof that you have informed families about your concerns.  See more information about creating and using these forms here. 

4.  Document ALL contact with parents!

When I first started teaching, I thought this was paranoia and a waste of valuable time, but I learned the hard way that not everyone believes that you as the teacher are a professional with good intentions and a primary concern with every child's well being.   It is unfortunate that lawsuits against teachers are becoming more prevelant, and it is imperative that we keep meticulous records of what we have done in the classroom, especially where parents are concerned.  I write all notes to parents on carbon copy notepads (I get them for free through the Highlights magazine offer sent at the beginning of the school year) so I know exactly what I wrote to who and when.  When I write about any particuarly touchy subjects (retention, extreme behavior problems, parental concerns) I type them and have my principal sign them before they are sent home.  This keeps him informed in case a parent calls, covers me in case my response was incorrect, and adds legitimacy to the words I have written. Excusal notes, early dismissal requests, concerns about classroom occurences, and any other written correspondence between me and the parent are kept in a special file labeled with the child's name. I also keep a Phone Documentation Log to keep track of all calls and what was spoken of.  Since I have begun keeping excellent records, I have not had any problems with parents, and if something should arise in the future, I have a thorough paper trail to prove that I have been diligent in keeping parents informed and responding to their requests and concerns.  Read more about documentation here.

5.  Send home surveys twice a year to elicit parent and student feedback.

If you're like me, you wonder, do the parents feel informed about what's going on in the classroom?  Do they think the homework I give is too easy or takes too long to complete?  Do they understand what I expect of the students?  Type up a few of these questions and allow parents to share their thoughts, even anonymously if they choose.  I have learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses through these surveys, and keep them as documentation as well.  Even if parents do not return them, at least I know their input has been requested and welcomed.  Sometimes I'll send home surveys for specific purposes, such as a homework survey.  The students surveys often turn up very interesting opinions and facts about the children I probably would never have known otherwise.  The kids share what activities have helped them learn best, which didn't, their feelings about me, their peers, and school, and suggestions for making our classroom a better place.

6.  Send home weekly, biweekly, or monthly newsletters.

Last year, two or three parents wrote in the end of year survey that they didn't always know what was going on in the classroom, so this year I started sending home classroom newsletters.  It's called the "Ask me about..." and lets parents know what the kids have been learning about through questions they can ask.  Too often when parents ask what a child did in school that day, the answer is "nothing" or something vague, and the "Ask Me About..." provides specific questions parents can ask to get specific answers.  There is also a section written by the Guest Columnist of the week- students take turns writing about what they learned that week.  Parents love that feature and often save the newsletter that their child helped write.  Sometimes I send home attachments if I notice a particular issue arising for multiple children, such as this letter about poor test grades or how to help with spelling issues.

7.  Try to make parents feel as acknowledged and appreciated as their children.

If a parent writes me a letter and I don't have time to respond the same day, I send home a received your note form to let them know I got it and intend to respond as soon as possible.  If they send in tissues or dry erase markers, I assure them the supplies made it safely with a thank you for supplies form.  When they place Scholastic book orders, I send home a book order thank you, as well.  Once I have printed and photocopied these papers, they take only a minute to gather and distribute to students, they keep me from having to follow up on these matters later, and they allow for consistent communication with parents.


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