Starting Off
Lots of people say they have wanted to be a teacher since they were in elementary school themselves, but I remember the lengths I would go to in acting the part.  Once when I was as seven and my three-year-old cousin was about to begin  preschool, I decided to make a book for him so he wouldn't be nervous.  I had my five-year-old cousin pose for Instamatic pictures in my backyard as we acted out a day at preschool- sliding down the slide, eating a snack, reading books.  I glued the pictures into a book I made myself and wrote captions for all the photos in blue and yellow highlighter (I have no idea why I used highlighters or why I remember that detail). 

In high school, I volunteered in kindergarten and first grade classrooms at my K-12 school and loved learning the ins and outs of the profession.  One teacher said to me as I made a bulletin board display, "Here's a way to make the edges even-after you staple the paper up,  run scissors down the metal edge of the board.  The paper will be nice and smooth on the edge and you just cover it with a border.  They'll never tell you that in teacher college!".  I became fascinated with those little tips and tricks that efficient teachers know (and as you can tell, that's still my passion!). Teaching was a creative outlet for me even then.

I attended Hood College, which was at that time a women's college.  Hood has a long history of quality teacher education and  I enthusiastically completed the methods courses I had seemingly been waiting years to attend.   Student teaching was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life, and I spent over 12 hours a day on school work for the entire semester, but it never deterred me from my goal.  I graduated in June and started right away in my first job.

My First Teaching Job
Those first six months of my teaching career were in a child development center, a.k.a daycare.  *I* viewed it as a real school, but unfortunately the parents (and my paycheck) did not reflect this same view.  I was frusterated by how hard myself and my students were working and simply not being recognized for it, since the inherent value of play that we as teachers know is not obvious to everyone.

Moving to the Public School System
I left the center mid-year to start up a new Head Start classroom in the school district in which I lived.  The funds had just come through for it and I would be the one of the first to pilot the new full-day program.  I was thrilled because I would be able to work with the same age group, but have the money, support, and relative respect of being associated with the public school system (pensions, a union, tenure, etc.).  

My first year was very challenging because of the school location- nearly an hour from my home, due to the traffic situation around Washington, D.C., and in a tough neighborhood.  The children were coming to school with all sorts of situations I was never prepared to deal with in college, and support of any kind was hard to find.  The job became depressing to me after awhile, because I saw so many horrible things that I was unable to do anything about, and being surrounded by broken forty-ounce bottles, used needles and condoms, and trash littering the streets had taken it's toll on me.  I thought it was very unfair that throughout the country, the newest and most inexperienced teachers almost always got placed in the most challenging schools- frankly, we were being set up to fail.

Changing Schools
I prayed for a new assignment in the fall and was blessed to be given one about twenty minutes from my house- again, a new classroom position due to recent funding increases.  I would be running a 'double session' classroom- three and a half hours for the morning class, and three and a half for the afternoon with no break.   This school was in a very nice neighborhood further from the city, with the children being bussed in from the inner suburbs close to where I had taught previously.  Some of them had an hour bus ride each way.

Even though these children faced many of the same challenges as the students from my previous school, the supportive atmosophere, experienced co-workers, and clean, safe school environment made all the difference for me.  I loved my job again and could not imagine ever leaving early childhood.  I had no papers to grade, half the lessons to plan (same lessons for both a.m. and p.m. classes), no complicated discipline plans needed to motivate kids to learn, and lots of time to get to know the children as individuals, due to the small class size and social times such as snacks and centers.   I also served as  a Demonstration Teacher for my county's HeadStart program, having been selected by my supervisor to serve as a model classroom and help train new teachers and represent the program when federal officials and other visitors came through.

A New Focus: Teaching Teachers
I returned to the same school again in the fall, this time in a full-day program as funds became available for that, as well.  I was taking master's degree classes at night and was able to really examine my beliefs about education.  I watched my professors very closely to see how they taught adult learners and was fascinated with the group dynamics.   I also had a fantastic student teacher and was extremely gratified by all that she felt she was learning in my classroom.  My supervisors had asked me to again be a Demonstration Teacher, and I assisted in writing and publishing the program's new curriculum, and putting together in-services.  I was nervous at first but really enjoyed 'teaching teachers', and I set that in my mind as a future goal.

Burned Out
My work with adults had become more time-consuming but also more satisfying than my work with children.  I had tons of new projects and complex discussions I wanted to try out, but everything had to be adapted for my little ones.  I grew very unhappy in the classroom, and seriously considered leaving the profession to make a difference on a larger scale. I began applying for government jobs with the Department of Education, in which I would be able to influence national policies that would affect countless classrooms across the country.  I envisioned myself sitting behind a desk in my quiet office all day long and getting paid twice what I was making running around all day after preschoolers.

As a back up to the government jobs, I had applied to another, more prestigious county school system.  Well-known for higher pay, lower class sizes, and outstanding teacher support systems, this county was my last hope for classroom teaching.   I had only until July 15th to resign from my county, according to Maryland law (quitting after that time results in a temporary revokation of your teaching certificate).  This new county had to offer me a position by July 15th so I could resign on time.  I went on two successful pre-interviews at the main office and waited for principals to call.  They didn't.  Teachers simply did not leave this county unless they retiredor moved away, and it was a very small district to begin with, so positions were limited.  The office staff seemed very disappointed, and my interviewers said they felt sure someone would resign or go on long-term leave, but there just weren't any slots.

A Change in Plans
I wasn't too disappointed, because my real hope was the government positions.  The concept of having the same accountability but also the power to influence real changes and lobby for revolutionary reform was exciting to me.  I was set on this idea and even gave away some of my teaching materials.  But something was still not right inside me.  One day during that summer I was at a dollar store and saw something that caught my eye.  Right away, my heart began racing and my mind was off and running- I could make math manipulatives with it!   Or, I could make it into a center!  Or...  I suddenly remembered that I didn't have a classroom anymore, and there weren't any students to create materials for.  My creative outlet was gone, and I began questioning my decision to leave the profession.

At the same time, rejection letters were pouring in from the government.  I had the education (I had completed my master's degree) but not the experience required.  I found it bitterly ironic that classroom experience did not count for a position with the Department of Elementary and Secondary Education, but downsizing was taking place and hiring procedures were changing.  I was bewildered.  What was I supposed to be doing with my life?  Wasn't teaching supposed to be my life calling, my purpose?  And how was I going to pay the bills come fall?  I was stuck in the same school and grade level and had heard nothing about the status of my transfer card, but I decided to try one last time to resolve the school transfer issue.

Finding a New Position
After speaking to many different school system employees, I learned what the problem was: due to clerical error, the school system did not realize I was elible for transfer and had repeatedly thrown away my transfer cards without telling me.   I cleared up the confusion, and my transfer was approved three and a half weeks before teachers were to report back for the new school year.   I called each and every school in the county that I wanted to teach at and left my name and number with the secretaries.  And waited.

I went on two interviews the day after calling all the schools.  Both were for third grade positions.  I was thrilled about this because I was so tired of the little ones and third was the highest grade I was certified to teach.  Both schools had a lot to offer me, in very different ways, and I was very happy with what I saw.  Later that day, I was offered the position at both schools!   What a relief to know I would have a tenured position- and not one that involved tying shoelaces and wiping noses!  

Making a Decision
It was a very tough decision.  I made a pros and cons charts, which is the only way I ever make huge decisions like this.  (Since you know the end of the story, I'll slip this in without giving anything away- those same charts turned out to be part of the third grade curriculum!  I now share with my class how I decided to come to the school, and you could hear a pin drop in the room as I explain.  Pros/Cons became a real-life skill that the kids really remember, and I know they, too, will use them to make decisions).   In my personal system, each pro and con is weighted, so that a pro like 'close to home' gets five points because it is so important, and a pro like 'big windows in classroom' gets two points because it is less important.

I found myself trying to skew the results, which usually happens, and that lets me know my subconscious decision.  One school had the highest test scores in the county and served a very wealthy population.  While I longed for parental support and the recognition that would come from teaching high-performing children, I did not choose that school.  I instead decided to go to Scotchtown Hills Elementary, a then-seven-year-old building only five miles from my home.  While I would still be teaching high-risk children, I knew that I could handle it in a supportive school (like the one I had spent the last two years at).  I was hoping that it was indeed school environment that led to teacher satisfaction, and not neccesarily a high socio-economic level of the children. 

My First Day With the Big Kids!
My co-workers were wonderful, friendlier and more helpful than I had ever imagined, and my classroom was ready, but I had no idea how I was going to manage the 'big kids'!  I couldn't exactly break out a finger play to get them to settle down, now, could I?  I just kept telling myself that the kids were scared, too, and except for the most extreme children (of which I thankfully had none who revealed this about themselves on the first day!), they would come in with a basic respect for me.  That respect could be lost quickly if I didn't take charge, but the foundation was set because I was a teacher and it was 'my' room they were walking into.

The kids were so orderly (I later learned that's called the 'honeymoon' phase).  I was shocked by this because the honeymoon is far less pronounced with preschoolers. My new students had been in school for four years and knew the routines, unlike a preschooler who might race around the room and pull toys off the shelf the first day.  But my authority challenge came almost immediately.  I had the kids put their tissues and soap they had brought in the front of the room.  One little girl wanted them at her desk with the rest of her supplies.  I repeated to her that they should go in the front of the room with the rest of the class'.  She told me, "I'll just go put them on my desk," and I swallowed, realizing that if I let her do it, I'd be 'undoing' it all year.  I replied sternly, "I need you to go up to the front of the room and set down your things- here, I'll help you," and took the soap off the top of her tissue box.  She meekly followed me to the front of the room and set down the tissues.  I sighed inwardly (and probably outwardly, too) and was even more relieved when I reflected back later and saw that that was the only real conflict I had had all day.  

What Makes a Teacher Stick Around?
My first year in third grade was honestly and truly FUN, just as my experiences with preschool were.  I have learned to never say never: I hated third grade when I student taught!  It was all worksheets and testing and writing paragraphs.  When I got my own classroom, I realized it didn't have to be that way.   But I might one day tire of third grade and move back down to the little ones- I don't know.  One thing I have learned about myself is that I need lots of change to keep things interesting.  I still think about mentoring positions and teaching college-level classes in the future, but I haven't actively sought any, and I have not applied to any other school systems, despite moving from the suburbs to Washington, D.C. and having to make a 35-minute commute each way.  I like my school.  I like my co-workers, especially my third grade team which is the most supportive, professional group of teachers I could ever hope to work with.  And I like my grade level- for now.   I am in a clean, safe, place with a staff that cares about kids and an administration that treats us like professionals.  I can go to work each day and try out new things and enjoy the feedback I get from my students.  Many people would say that I work in one of the most challenging areas in the state, but I have most of the resources I need to meet those challenges and I can clearly see ways in which I am making a difference.  Now THAT's job satisfaction. :-)

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